Some of you know that my oldest son, Cameron has come to a point in his life that he needs to live in one household as opposed to going week to week from my house to his dad's house.
We have joint custody so Cam has always gone back n forth from each of our houses. That has been rough on him at times but he got used to it as time went on.
Cameron has been going to a Chartered school for the last three years that didn't matter where he lived and his dad and I only lived 12 mins away from each other so it worked out fine for him to do the week to week schedule.
Well, he will be a junior this year and the school he was going to only goes to the tenth grade. And his dad now lives 45 mins away from me so Cameron needed to make a decision on which one of us he wanted to live with in order to finish school. He has been dragging his feet for months on making this decision because since he was young, he always said he wanted to live with me full time (he doesn't get along with his step mom) but now that his dad lives in Milford, he loves it because that's where all of his friends are and he even has someone that can get him into the Live Oaks program that he wants to take! The reason he knows has so many friends in Milford is because he has attended Church in Milford with his dad's family for the last 5 years and Cam is very involved in Church and goes on alot of retreats and volunteers and stuff so he has built alot of relationships over the years. He just doesn't get along with his step-mom so he doesn't like that he has to live with his dad for that reason.
He also feels kind of cramped there because they live in a 3 bedroom ranch and he has a sister and two brothers over there and a new baby on the way! With him being the age that he is, it's hard on him.
On my side, we've only lived here for a little over a year and since Cam didn't go to school around here, he doesn't know anyone or have any friends around here. The high school that is in our district is a good school but it's mainstream and Cam has never done well in a mainstream school due to his mild learning disability. With him being in a chartered school for so long, I think it would extremely difficult for him to succeed at the high school. There is a vocational program but the high school isn't affiliated with it yet. They plan to be affiliated by the middle of the school year but until then Cam would be in the mainstream classes.
So, Cam has had a huge decision to make and he kept dragging his feet and dragging his feet. His dad and I both told him that we would support any decision he made, we just wanted him to be where he was happy and had the most opportunity education wise.
Well, Cam has finally made his decision. He called me from his dad's house on Monday and told me that he has decided to live at his dad's full time so he can go to Live Oaks and go to school with his friends. He's currently applying for jobs over there too.
I felt a huge sense of loss when he first told me this. I know that it's the best decision because he needs to be where he can finish his education. I really want him to finish school and I have always been so afraid that when he turned 18, he would drop out of school if it was too difficult for him and there would be nothing I could do to stop him. So, I am very happy that he has a good opportunity and has alot of support from friends around him over there but at the same time, I feel sad and a sense of loss. I have always known the day would come that he'd leave home but I just didn't expect it to be this soon. I always assumed he'd live with us full time when the time came.......so this is hard to get used to. I don't want him to know that I am feeling this way though because I don't want him to feel guilty at all. I want him to do what's best for his future! I will definitely be picking him up for visits during any free time he has! He's going to be very busy with school and a job that I may not get to see him much but you better believe that I will be calling his little butt all the time! ha
If you can keep Cam and our two families in your prayers, I would appreciate it. I just want Cameron to do well and to have a good future. Also pray for Dawson.........this will be rough on him. Thanks for listening!
11 comments:
Milford is a great school system. The live oaks program is amazing too. He will do really well. There is a McDonald's that has tons of young people working at it right down the street from the live oaks campus. Ryan's preschool was right next to it. It is 5 minutes from my house at the most. This really is a good area, I think he will thrive here.
On another note...OH MY GOSH...Michelle is pregnant again? Holy cow.
I know this is hard so i am not going to pretend to understand because we all know how well I take distance from my kids.
You will be okay and you will have to cherish the time that you do have iwht him.
I was thinking while reading your post that your biggest problem will be Daws and then you said that. Make sure you allow him to share those feelings and draw and write to his brother when he feels down. You will do fine. i will pray for him and the whoel familu and situation.
Cheryl, since you live so close to him, maybe you can by my spy and make sure he stays out of trouble!!!! That would be great!
I had the same reaction about the baby.....I predicted it would happen though........another 5 years to not be expected to work! ugh!
I know that you will make the best out of the situation. Spend what time you can with him, plan things for him and Daws to do together - just the 2 of them - and now with your snazzy phone you can email him and send him pictures a lot!
I'll definately pray for this too!
Awww, I feel for you! I just realized the other day that Jacob will graduate high school at 16!!! 16!!! That's only 5 years from now!!! 5 years!!! I already decided he is NOT going away to college his first 2 years! He will be home with us. :)
I am sure it'll all work out for the best. It will be hard for you guys but you have to remember to think of the positives - the great school, neighborhood, friends and church that he will be involved in. Hopefully the home life won't be a big deal and he can always come stay with you when he needs a break from his Dad's.
Here's a cyber hug for you < >!!
I like what Amanda said... try and plan time for him and Daws to be together. You still have a month or so with him living at your home so maybe he can plan a nice outing with Daws in that time.
Also, calling him on your cell with nice pictures of you with your nose looking like a pig will do wonders for his social life!! ;)
I just choked on my muffin! That was funny Char.
I love the pig nosed pics!
Oh no one type anything else funny, we could kill Amanda. Maybe you shouldn't eat while reading the blogs just to be safe.
Let me know where Cam is working, I will drop by. Hopefully it will be some place fun. Oh he should work at a scrapbook store, I would hang out with him all the time. or maybe some place that sells webkinz.
Oh I got the chocolate lab and beagle today.
Wow, Cher you were obsessed with Chocolate today.........you even bought a chocolate lab!
Praying that everything goes well for him (and you!)!
Yeah, Milford is great. I'm sure its going to be very hard for you, but once you get a routine down it will get easier (eventually :) )
I'm sad for you that he's not going to be living with you, but it does sound like it's a good decision for Cameron. It also shows what an awesome mom you are when you said that you weren't going to let him know how bad you were feeling about it - it's probably already hard on him too but knowing that you support him no matter what probably makes things a little easier on him.
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